parenting

Something I taught my kids last night: Everyone has something they're unusually good at. When you meet someone try to figure out what it is.

One of my tricks is to treat them like adults intellectually. It's remarkable how often it works. Adults talk down to kids way more than they need to or even realize.

A simple rule I taught my 9 yo today: If you can't figure something out, figure out how to figure it out.

Whenever I teach little kids something, I'm always trying harder to teach the meta-lessons, like breaking down a problem into smaller parts, or that practice makes you better.

A competition where 10% of kids win awards is ok, and one where 100% do is ok too (though it fools no kid over 4), but a competition where 80% of kids win awards is cruel.

One of the best things you can be for your kids is an audience. Which doesn't mean being uncritically approving. That doesn't fool kids over 2. It means caring about what they care about.

To lecture someone on morality is implicitly to assume moral superiority over them. Adults do this to children, but not (unless they are clergy) to other adults.

One of the most surprising things about being a parent is the amount you have to improvise. Way more than in anything else I've done, despite this being probably the most commonly done thing I've done. I think it's because kids are incomparable generators of chaos.

Kids think their parents are experts, but in many respects they're complete noobs. If you're the oldest child, you're probably the first n-year old your parents have ever had to deal with.

Good thing to do with a 6 yo: type stories they dictate. At that age, the physical act of writing is a bottleneck, so this can release a torrent of imagination. They love seeing their stories printed, like “real” stories they read in books. And it's a fun thing to do together.